I'm sure no one else will find this blog that relevant or comforting, but it's one of my favorite things to read from someone I do not know at all. I'm not a big fan of other people's blogs, and I don't quite get why anyone would read other people's personal blogs (yes, I realize this is deeply inconsistent with the fact that this mini-insignificant blog even exists). But I love Jill's blog. I think partly because her reflections on the world feel and sound so familiar. It's like she's me in a decade (or so). And even though she admits her limitations and foibles, she sure makes it sound like she has her shit together. So, I think she might be my hero. (Not to mention she's a philosophy professor, but in a cool way, which gives me hope. I could never hack it in the academia of philosophy...I ran away to the social sciences.) I realize this could be border-line weird and creepy, but maybe those who have been blogging more consistently and longer than me, are used to strangers' fascinations and obsessions.
In other news, a panel I submitted a paper for was accepted for the annual academic conference. Strange how it actually made me feel bad instead of elated. This is a problem I've been having with my successes, that I end up feeling incredibly ambivalent, when I should be proud and excited...right? Ambivalence seems to be my mainstay emotion these last six months. It's like I can't handle emotions, so I seesaw between them, rather than just choosing one. It's exhausting, and sort of stupid, too. I used to think I was a cynical optimist, but I'm starting to think I'm just a pessimistic pessimist.
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